Blog For Arizona

Inequality Cartoon Says it All

Posted by Bob Lord

From Tom Tomorrow at Daily Kos (click to enlarge) --

Let's play Bogus Lincoln Quotes

Posted by AzBlueMeanie:

"Bogus Lincoln quotes" is probably a game more suited to Twitter (I recommend using Al Melvin's twitter feed for your drunken New Year's Eve parties), but I'll get things started:

"Cap'n Al deserves a Melvin for attributing quotes to me that I never said, and lying about it." -- Abraham Lincoln

Keep it clean folks! Points for being creative and funny.

Have fun!

UPDATE: Thanks to Wileybud -- here you go!

Fruity or Oaky? Rambling Thoughts on White People Problems

by Pamela Powers Hannley

My coffee table book is too large for my coffee table.

My Internet connection is too slow.

My dishwasher doesn’t really get the dishes clean.

iPads should have a USB connection.

I can’t remember all of my passwords.

Will Wall Street gambling hurt by 401K’s performance?

My car is annoying. The on-board computer tells me when to add air to the tires, when someone’s seatbelt is undone, and when it needs to go to the shop for service.

I hate it when I find a good recipe on the Internet and then can’t find it again.

Cable TV is too expensive for what your get. NetFlix is the way to go– or just plug the laptop into the flat screen TV.

I give my dog a daily dab of Greek yogurt with her dog food because she farts too much.

Redistricting -- Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!

Cross posted from Arizona Eagletarian.

 

Please pardon my irreverence about the holiday. Are there people who yet do not know that scholars generally understand that Jesus Christ was NOT born on December 25, and that this (retail) holiday has roots in pagan historical traditions related to the winter solstice?

Since Jesus scorned the money changers and hypocritical religious leaders, andembraced the sinners, I particularly appreciate Kevin's line from Home Alone, "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal."

I also owe thanks to my son-in-law's aunt who often has tremendously poignant thoughts (and posts them on Facebook). This evening, she said,

"...And in his name all oppression will cease"...this line from O Holy Night at Christmas Eve service jumped out at me. He truly is the only lasting hope for the world. Jesus is not the founder of a religion. He is a true myth, God's never-ending story of love and forgiveness come to life, and at the same time he was a real person. I have a new appreciation for story this year, and especially the story that trumps all others. 

I personally find the kind of religion that demands obedience to some fool's interpretation of biblical morality incredibly distasteful. You know, the kind thatpeople like Ted Cruz use to justify Christian Dominionism (theocracy) andIslamophobia (promoting fear and hatred of a boogeyman version of theocracy).

But the Jesus Christ in whose name all oppression will cease, stirs my soul.

All of that said, other than writing for this blog, giving Christmas gifts to my grandchildren is just about the most fun thing to do any time of the year.

Please forgive me again. This time for having overshadowed the redistricting news with my reflections on Christmas.

-----

Alright, let's get down to business. On Monday (December 23), counsel for the Arizona Independent Redistricting Commission filed a motion to dismiss the legislature's lawsuit against the will of the voters. Noting that the AIRC already has one motion to dismiss pending, this one cites a different reason and different court procedure provision as cause. The motion also notes the AIRC reason for filing this one is to ensure that

While the Commission currently has pending a motion to dismiss pursuant to 12(b)(6) (Dkt. 16), this motion, which addresses the lack of subject matter jurisdiction, is proper. See Fed. R. Civ. P. 12(g)(2), (h)(3)(requiring Court to dismiss action “at any time” if it determines that it lacks subject matter jurisdiction). This motion is filed to assure that these issues are briefed before the January 24, 2014 hearing.

Rule 12 (b)(6) cites cause for granting a motion to dismiss: "failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted." Rule 12 (g)(2) and (h)(3) notes a reason why the AIRC is allowed to file a second motion to dismiss.

If the court determines at any time that it lacks subject-matter jurisdiction, the court must dismiss the action.  

So, AIRC counsel gave the grinchy Arizona Legislature a lump of coal for Christmas. Or, actually it gave the legislature's lawyers something to do other than traditional Christmas family gatherings and rituals. They will no doubt now be spending more time trying to subvert this latest motion.

 

I've provided a link (above) to the 9-page motion, if you're so inclined to read it.

 

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!

News Coverage in Texas

Posted by Bob Lord

Here's a funny (and true) story about what Chris Hedges refers to as the illiterate majority.

My son recently graduated from U of A and took a job in Dallas. Last week, he was getting a haircut and the stylist asked him if he had been to the State Fair (or maybe it was the County Fair, I'm not sure). He's been immersed in his work, so he had no idea there was a fair running. When he told her this, she exclaimed: "How could you not know about the Fair? Don't you watch the news?"

So, the conversation turns and she asks him where he works and he replies "Goldman Sachs." She then asks what Goldman Sachs is, because she'd never heard of it. 

So much for following the news in Texas. Unless of course corn dogs and fry bread are an important part of your life. Oh wait, it's Texas we're talking about. News coverage in Arizona is much more substantive, right?

[And yes, I know, it's a bit ironic that my son works for Goldman]

Let's Negotiate!

Republicans have been demanding negotiations over the government shutdown. A few minutes ago, President Obama gave in to their demand. In a private meeting with House leaders, he said:

Let's negotiate. I understand that you want to repeal Obamacare, or at least delay it for a year. Now let me tell you what I want:

Profession For Nice People Only?

Posted by Bob Lord

We all have met our share of arrogant doctors. And lawyers with overbearing personalities are the rule, not the exception. We've all had the teacher from hell at some point in our grade school years. There are college professors who get their jollies flunking half the students, not realizing what a sorry statement that is on their teaching ability. 

So, is there any profession that's jerk free?

Believe it or not, there just may be one. I took our 19 year-old terrier to the veterinarian yesterday. He has arthritis. I've seen a bunch of vets in the past year. We have four dogs and it's not been a great year on the health front. I also happen to have a vet as a client, and my sister's boyfriend is a vet. 

It just may not be possible to be a jerk and a veterinarian at the same time.

Makes sense. I'm guessing dogs and cats tolerate jerks less than we humans do.

Any pet owners out there care to chime in, either in support or to burst the bubble?

Thucky's not a veterinarian, is he? 

Bill Maher's Good Night

Posted by Bob Lord

A few weeks back I wrote on what I thought was an abysmal Real Time performance by Bill Maher. He had stereotyped Muslims in an indefensible way and had gone after Chris Christie in a way that was both over the line and unfunny. 

Friday night, however, he did a lot to restore his credibility. In "New Rules," he laid out succinctly, persuasively and humorously why those who claim Ronald Reagan wouldn't fit in with today's Republican party are wrong and how Reagan indeed wrote the playbook for today's Tea Party. 

It's vintage Maher. You can find a clip here. Enjoy.

It's not an oil spill - it's a revolutionary energy distribution system

Posted by AzBlueMeanie:

The brilliant Andy Cobb from Second City has put together a parody video of those annoying Exxon-Mobil ads telling us how friggin wonderful they are. Exxon - Energy Everywhere:

America's oil industry is terribly misunderstood. When a lot of people hear "364 pipeline spills in 2012" they think it's a big mess, like a nearly realized advent calendar of crap. What they fail to see is a revolutionary energy distribution system about to achieve NATIONWIDE COVERAGE.

And remember, that's not just gas or oil flowing through the streets of Arkansas--it's dilbit, the thick toxic hydrocarbon stew produced by tarsands. So roam wherever, and take your energy source with you! That s--t is sticky as hell, it's not like you're going to be able to get it off.

Video below the fold.

Code Pink flash mob: 'Arms are for hugging' (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

You've gotten hand it to Code Pink. They're everywhere (1, 2, 3) protesting for peace and an end to corporate domination of our country. Check out the video of their flash mob protest over inauguration weekend after the jump.

'Ray Theon, where are you?': Tucson bride seeks corporate master for domination

by Pamela Powers Hannley

In tough times, even the most independent woman may find herself turning to traditional feminine tactics to secure her financial future-- like marrying a sugar daddy.

And what better sugar daddy could a woman find than a corporate person? As reported earlier by this blogger, seven New York City brides married and pledged allegiance to seven corporate masters... er... grooms on the steps of the New York Stock Exchange on Friday, January 19, the third anniversary of the Citizens United decision by the US Supreme Court.

Occupy Tucson activist and former mayoral candidate Mary DeCamp had hoped to find her corporate master-- Ray Theon-- at the federal building in downtown Tucson on Friday, but alas the lovely bride and her "father" (pictured here) were disappointed when the groom didn't show. (Did "Ray" think he was not worthy of Mary when he saw her "father" holding the "Corporations are not people" sign?)

According to DeCamp, she searched around the federal building and the Bank of America building for "Ray" but couldn't find him. 

"Excuse me sir, you look very corporate, are you a corporation?  I hear corporations are 'persons' now, and they have free speech," DeCamp asked passersby.  "I want to find one, hopefully Ray Theon, who will marry me and make me a rich bride. Yoo Hoo, Raaaay!  Ray Theon!  Come out, come out, wherever you are!  I want to get married now." 

Approximately 24 activists from Move to Amend, Womens International League for Peace and Freedom (WILF), Occupy All Streets, Code Pink, Raging Grannies, and the Unitarian Universalist Church of Tucson were on hand to help DeCamp find a corporate person to own and dominate her for the rest of her life. More photos after the jump.

Gay retaliation: Will gay men marry straight women? (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Gay marriage is now legal in a handful of US states, but many voters are opposed to marriage equality.

We know who those people are; they're the straight, white men who voted for another straight, white man in last week's election-- rather than join President Obama's rainbow coalition. 

In retaliation for their resistance to marriage equality, gay men are laying down the gauntlet and challenging straight men: Support marriage equality or we'll start marrying your girlfriends.

Watch the compelling video after the jump.

Friday fun: Obama sings 'Can't Touch This' (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Yes, indeed, President Barack Obama sings M.C. Hammer's Can't Touch This after the jump.

Chris Rock urges white voters to vote for a 'white guy you can trust'-- Barack Obama (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

These days, there is a poll for every statistic you want to promote. Some polls have shown that undecided white men-- unlike women, blacks, gays, Latinos, and those elite smart people-- are leaning toward Mitt Romney for president.

Comedian Chris Rock has recorded a special message for those undecided white folks. See the video after the jump.

Founding Fathers campaign for democracy in Tucson

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Who knew that Thomas Jefferson and his cross-dressing pal would be at the All Souls Procession in Tucson night last ?

Where were these big thinkers from the 18th century spotted? At The Congress, of course. 

They fought for our right to vote... so do it!

If you don't think your vote counts, watch this... (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Al Gore won the popular vote but lost the Electoral College vote in 2000. In the historic recount of Florida's vote, he lost that state by 537 votes--out of more than 6 million cast.

Check out this historic video of an alternative universe where President Al Gore became president.

Gore State of the Union

 

 

 

Romney style (video)

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Maybe I'm getting slap-happy after months of non-stop campaigning, 100 fundraising e-mails a day, too much "what if?" anxiety, swinging polls, and more candidate house invitations than I can name...

If you're feeling the same way and you're ready for a chuckle, check out the video after the jump.

Blogging the DNC2012: The inside scoop from the Tucson Progressive

by Pamela Powers Hannley

Want the inside scoop on blogging the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte? The parties? The people? The protests? The politics?

Check out my interview on The Lou Show.

If you want to hear my pearls of wisdom in person, come to the Laughing Liberally Tucson Comedy Showcase on Tuesday, September 18 at Casa Vincente. The show starts at 7 p.m.

Here I am with Arianna Huffington, a very gracious lady, and Krzystzof Piotrowski, another Huffington Post Off the Bus blogger, at the Huffington Post Oasis at the DNC. You can hear my interview and see part of his video after the jump.

'Swiss Miss' sings 'I'm a Romney Girl' (video)

This post is dedicated to the start of the RNC in Tampa. Enjoy...

"I'm a Romney Girl."

 

Saturday Editorial July 28th, 2012

In the flurry of news and opinion gusting out of our computer screens and smart phones, it is easy to become 'news blind' - so focused on the flakes and flurries that we forget where we are headed. We stumble confusedly ahead with no map to our destination. It's easy to get lost in the storm.

I personally read almost every news source in Arizona - and keep up with national reaction to our politics, as well - in bringing to readers of BlogForArizona the Arizona Donkey Feed, which appears on our right-hand sidebar every day (you may also have the Feed emailed to you daily). So I, too, often find myself in that blizzard without a map.

I decided I might like to sit down once a week and take some time to look around, and identify what I think are the most significant landmarks around where we stand now. It might not be a map that will tell us where we are headed, but maybe I can get some idea of where we are. Over time, perhaps it will become a map of sorts. You can even look back to all the editorials I have done so far, which isn't that many, yet...

I would also like to let you all know that Betts Putnam-Hidalgo, candidate for Tucson Unified School Board, will be guest-host at Drinking Liberally in Tucson. Come down to the Shanty of 4th Avenue this Wednesday at 6pm and enjoy a beer with Betts.

This week, I don't have a big post for you all. I just finished my 2012 Ballot Prop Voter Guide, and that's about all I want to say today. I will just leave you all with the Best New Thing in Arizona Politics this week: Russell Pearce in the Bunker! See it after the click...

Mr. Romney, Your Apology From The Obama Campaign, Sir...

By Michael Bryan

Well, that happened... Campaign Obama's Stephanie Cutter issued an apology today to Mr. Romney for saying that he was either a liar or a felon for his SEC filings with Bain from 1999 to 2002. It was heart-felt and moving. It should more than satisfy Mr. Romney's wounded sensibilities.

See the historic apology after the click...

Mitt Romney has been secretly visiting Tucson!

By Michael Bryan

Tucson's Police Department is warning citizens of police impersonators pulling over motorists.

"Tucson police have received multiple reports in the past six months of a man and woman dressed as police officers pulling over motorists, a Tucson Police Department spokesman said.

The pair, who are not law enforcement officers, have used a vehicle equipped with emergency lights and a siren, said TPD's Sgt. Chris Widmer in a news release.

"They are typically dressed in police uniforms and are equipped with police gear," Widmer said."

How nice that Romney is spending some time here in the Old Pueblo! Pursuing his favorite hobby and meeting the locals. He's even gotten his wife involved, apparently. Some folks come here for the golf; Romney likes the uniforms. Such a sweet story :)

President Bain

By Dr. Jim Saunders

Inasmuch as I have of late publicly derided Mr. Romney’s campaign, premised as it has been on his superior knowledge of business and economic matters, I am writing here to make equally public my withdrawal of my erroneous jeers.  I have previously stated that in my view Mr. Romney’s experience was of the same character as that of Bluebeard, Captain Kidd, Black Bart and even at times Captain Hook.  I envisioned Captain Romney at the helm of the Bain, Jolly Roger flapping high on the mainmast, closing in on smaller ships, his crew swarming aboard, removing all of value, cutting down their sails and leaving them to founder.

I was wrong.  My error was twofold.  First, in that law sanctioned Captain Romney’s actions, and second, in that I had no evidence that Bluebeard or any of the others deemed themselves qualified to be President of the United States.  I should more properly have said that Captain Romney was a privateer.  Like Barbarossa, Sir Francis Drake, Sir Walter Raleigh, and others given letters of marque by their own or other governments.  

Privateers were licensed by governments, while pirates were not.  Pirates stole for their own wealth, paid no taxes, and buried their treasure on foreign shores.  Privateers took from foreign ships and returned their treasure to the governments who had commissioned them.

I see now that my prior characterization was simplistic.  Captain Romney does not fit neatly into either category.  Nonetheless, serving as Captain of the Ship of State is far different than standing at the helm of the Good Ship Bain, telescope in hand, looking for ships to plunder.

We Americans have experience with privateers.

Today those who decry the growth of government wish to outsource government services from education, to policing, prison management, the military, water services and waste management.  They may not realize that American government outsourcing began before the nation was founded, when in March 1776 the Continental Congress, not having a navy at its disposal, enacted a process to commission privateers to support the American Revolution.  Unlike present legislators, that early Congress created uniform rules of conduct for these “private contractors” and required them to post bonds to guarantee their proper conduct.

Today our government purchases services estimated to cost the taxpayers* at least twice what it otherwise cost to have those same services provided by the government.  At the extreme (one hopes) is the example of contractor services in the Iraq war, where individual contractors were reputedly hired for ten times the cost of having American GI’s perform the same functions.  But I digress, or do I?

Consider the prospect of government run by privateers, or a privateer-in-chief.

We cannot expect Congressional control of the contracts, or letters of marque, nor meaningful oversight of such a privateer.  There would be no monetary bond to ensure proper conduct.

Today’s privateers seek to be less constrained than the 18th century variety. Those armed merchants risked their ships their own wealth and their lives as privateers.  They served their governments by disrupting enemy commerce in time of war.   

Today’s privateer has turned away from attacks on foreign ships to attacking the ship of state and his fellow countrymen.  The breed has weakened considerably in the past 236 years.  Nowadays privateers risk only other people’s money, well-being and lives.  If we were fortunate enough to escape walking the plank, we would surely be sailing into uncharted and likely very dangerous waters.

Imagine the United States with a President who has spent his career finding businesses with many assets and relatively less cash flow and who has made his fortune acquiring them, selling off their assets, dismissing their employees, pocketing the cash and putting it aside in an offshore account.  What could he do for the country from the Oval Office?

He might want to stop the waste in Washington. One place to start might be at the Smithsonian Institute.  The nation derives no income from it.  It’s filled with collectables that could be sold to the Saudis or others with more cash than they can use.  Across he National Mall, the National Galleries contain countless artworks that could be auctioned off to private museums or to moneyed collectors.  The Washington Monument does nothing, generates no income and could be leased out or sold to private communications businesses. Leased space for microwave repeaters and cell phone transmitters and receivers could surely generate considerable revenue for its now owners.  The National Mall itself should be sold off.  The real estate is priceless and lobbyists could build high-rise towers for the offices and for luxury suites to save them time commuting back and forth to Capitol Hill.

The National Parks offer another opportunity.  They should be set aside for new and productive purposes.  Perhaps they could be used as giant movie lots for the making of survivalist reality shows for television.  Some might be stocked with wild game imported from Africa or Asia, to provide new hunting opportunities for Saudi princes and jaded European nobility who dislike the heat of the African continent.  The government could license private industries to issue hunting permits.  All those unnecessary game wardens and park rangers could be laid off. In addition, the government could save further cost by not regulating any of these new businesses.

The entire military system could be outsourced.  We have historical precedent for such a decision.  We had Colonial privateers on the seas, before America was a nation with a navy.  During the Revolutionary War we benefited from the talents of General Gilbert du Motier (the Marquis de Lafayette), Polish-Lithuanians Colonel Andrzej Tadeusz Bonawentura Kościuszko and General Casimir Pulaski, as well as the Hessians.  

Such a move would not only avoid an unpopular draft, it would save the government untold billions in operational costs.  Assets removed from foreign soil, or new taxes on America’s poor and middle classes could provide funding.  Those unable to pay additional taxes could volunteer for military service to satisfy their indebtedness due to taxes. We have precedent for this too, dating back at least to the arrival of George Soule on the Mayflower.  He paid the debt for his passage to the New World by indenture to fellow Mayflower passenger, Edward Winslow, who later became Governor of Plymouth Colony.

Of course, we’ve already begun the process of outsourcing the military, first to National Guardsman and later to Blackwater USA, which after a series of camouflage name changes is now known as Academi.  Organizations like this cannot only provide contractor military services, but also avoid the additional expense of swearing in officers and troops to uphold the Constitution.  Since the Supreme Court has recently set aside much of that document, the oath is much less needed now than formerly.  If the government pays them enough, they may not seek a higher bidder for their services.

Certainly, additional cost could be avoided and further revenues gained by continued outsourcing of jobs by American businesses.  Finally we may avoid the cost of primaries and general elections, first by severely pruning the ranks of the electorate, and ultimately by outsourcing the vote to corporations.

It seems that a candidate with experience in buying and dismantling businesses would be a natural for the job.

Romney Leading in AZ: Just Don't Run With an Arizonan on the Ticket

by Michael Bryan

The latest polling from Public Policy Polling (PDF link) indicates that Romney is leading in Arizona by 7 points (50%-43%), which is within the margin of error (+/-4.4%), but likely represents a small true advantage.

I don't find that terribly surprising, given the GOP registration advantage and the strong Mormon population and activation in Arizona. Arizona will be closer than 2008, and Obama may actually win Arizona this year, but it will be a damn close thing.

What I did find VERY surprising, were the polling results when a potential Vice Presidential candidate was added to the mix. The scamps at PPP added some of the top political figures from Arizona as potential running mates for Romney: Governor Brewer, Senator John McCain, and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Adding Janet to the ticket actually HARMS Romney! He loses 2% when she's the VP - in Arizona! No favorite daughter effect for our Governor!

Senator McCain doesn't fair any better. Given the cratering of his popularity in his own party, that he doesn't make it MUCH worse for Romney is actually what is surprising. I guess you can just chalk it up to the fact that many GOP voters are already holding their noses to vote for Romney, so they can't really smell the VP.

Then there is America's "Toughest Sheriff" Arpaio. At a poorly preserved 70-something, Joe is even less likely a VP than the mouldering McCain, but PPP tried him out, none-the-less. The results were almost to hand the race to Obama.

Now, all of these results are also within the margin of error, so they are all statistically the same, but what is clear, is that adding any of these top GOP local leaders to the Romney ticket does not improve Romney's performance - just the opposite, in fact.

Arizona really LOVES it favorite sons and daughters... NOT!

 

Romney Courts Latino Vote with New Sidekick... Not Really.

By Michael Bryan

While it isn't exactly what you might term "real", The Onion frequently captures the truth that only satire can capture. Enjoy Romney's new friend Paco the animated parrot after the click...

Breaking: Obama Will Appoint a Federal Special Master For Arizona

By Michael Bryan

Today President Obama announced that pursuant to a secret executive order, six Republican-dominated states that have veto-proof majorities and the Governorship, including Arizona, Florida, Vermont, Texas, Alabama, and South Carolina, will be immediately placed in federal receivership. It is expected that a further twenty states with GOP controlled state governments will be placed in receivership by the end of next week.

The effect of Obama's secret executive order, which was apparently issued shortly after Obama taking office in 2009, will be to dissolve all state governmental authority within the targeted states. The Governors and state legislatures will be banned from meeting or conducting governmental business, and briefly held in federal detention pending final debriefing and liquidation. The President will then unilaterally appoint a Special Master to administer each state covered by the order.

The Special Master for Arizona will be Janet Napolitano, who will also retain her position as Homeland Security director. Said Napolitano at the press conference announcing the receivership, "I look forward to cleaning house in Arizona and putting right all the harm done in the three years since I left office in Arizona. Republicans had better go get their guns, because we are coming for them. We'll pry them from your cold dead fingers, if necessary."

Already, the DHS has begun distribution of the new rules under which Arizonans will live during the receivership. The pamphlet is entitled "Sharia Law and You". Napolitano announced that Muslim legal scholars from Iran would be flown in to act as ad visors to the new Special Master's administration.

On a personal note, I have to admit, it seems the Republicans were right. It seems that Obama was angling at dictatorship, domination, and the destruction of the American way of life, all along. What I ignorantly called their paranoid rantings were actually well-informed and accurate desciptions of the designs the President had on taking all power for himself and his cronies. I deeply apologize to my Republican brethren for my ignorance and lack of foresight.

Learn more about these surprising developments after the flip...

Obama Courts the Web Geek Vote

By Michael Bryan

I was recently looking at the President's campaign website, BarackObama.com. There was something in the design that I liked, so I took a peek at the page's HTML. I was surprised to find this in the code:

Seems Obama is gunning for every vote; even web geeks looking at his site's code.

Frank, That's Not Even Close!

By Michael Bryan

I don't know that this is actually Frank Antenori's truck in this video. I know he drives a truck frequently, but I'm relying on the research of the Tucson Weekly that this is actually Frank.

And if it is, Holy Crap, Frank! This violation is not someone trying to make a changing light, this is someone seeing an open intersection and just blatantly claiming it as his own. Frank appears to just roll up to the red light, take a quick look around, and decide to just blow off the traffic light as others sit patiently (and safely) at the intersection.

Seems that Frank's War on Redlight Cameras was not inspired by close calls, but by his personal impatience with having to actually follow the rules of the road.

See the video after the click... 

My Own Santorum... Cocktail, That Is.

By Michael Bryan

Saturdays are cocktail day around the Bryan household. Friends come over and I play bartender. Sometimes I go for the classics, but today I was inspired.

He died for your cocktail

A bar owner in New York has gotten some great press by inventing his own version of the Santorum Cocktail. I couldn't help try my hand at creating my own version of a Santorum Cocktail for my friends.

Here's what I came up with:

• 1 oz any white liquor (I used white rum, which plays well with the sweet ingredients)
• 1 oz Benedictine (a nod to Santorum's Catholicism)
• 1/2 oz chocolate liqueur (I used Godiva, but any will do. Just make sure it is brown, to give the drink an appropriate color)
• 1 1/2 oz half and half, or cream (I prefered half and half, cause it sounds like a sexual service you can order from a prostitute, though cream sounds appropriately dirty, too...)
• 1/2 an egg white (gives an appropriately thick and sticky texture and a good bit of froth)

Grate some chocolate and rim your glass with it using a little lemon juice or liqueur to mosten the rim. Shake all the ingredients over ice in a boston shaker and strain into the rimmed glass. Sprinkle the top of the drink with a little of the extra grated chocolate. Garnish with something appropriately ghoulish. I choose a plain vanilla crucified Jesus stuck to a cocktail straw, but aborted fetuses, or mini dildoes, or whatever you might have to hand would be equally appropriate.

Enjoy!

If the Star is Too Afraid to Run Doonesbury's Vaginal Probe Arc...

By Michael Bryan

Go see it for yourself at Doonesbury.com.

Hey, in this day and age, no single publication gets to dictate what you can and can't see.

Here's the lead off strip.

Corporations Can Go To Heaven, Too... Apparently

By Michael Bryan

Corporations have religion? Who knew?

The Arizona Legislature, apparently... from the striker bill HB 2625, providing a Blunt Amendment-style 'religious conscience' exception that in Arizona, having failed in the U.S. Senate:

"NOTWITHSTANDING SUBSECTION Y OF THIS SECTION, A CONTRACT DOES NOT FAIL TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS OF SUBSECTION Y OF THIS SECTION IF THE CONTRACT'S FAILURE TO PROVIDE COVERAGE OF SPECIFIC ITEMS OR SERVICES REQUIRED UNDER SUBSECTION Y OF THIS SECTION IS BECAUSE PROVIDING OR PAYING FOR COVERAGE OF THE SPECIFIC ITEMS OR SERVICES IS CONTRARY TO THE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS OF THE EMPLOYER, SPONSOR, ISSUER, CORPORATION OR OTHER ENTITY OFFERING THE PLAN OR IS BECAUSE THE COVERAGE IS CONTRARY TO THE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS OF THE PURCHASER OR BENEFICIARY OF THE COVERAGE."

[Emphases added]

So, now soulless, immortal corporations can espouse religious beliefs? I suppose that means they can go to heaven, too. 

Well, at least I will still get to use an iPhone in heaven...

In the Interest of Facilitating Inter-Partisan Communication

Posted by Michael Bryan

Hat tip to AZSpot.

 

 

Anderson Cooper Scores

Posted by Bob Lord

So, I'm watching the end of the asshat debate tonight, which then turns to the commentary, and they have Gloria Borger (or Bolger, I'm not sure) interview Jan Brewer. The gist of the interview is Gloria trying to get her to endorse a candidate. Brewer of course resists, like she's holding us all in suspense or something.

That part was totally predictable, and boring. But then Anderson Cooper makes the otherwise wasted five minutes all worthwhile. At the end of the interview, Brewer tells Gloria that she'll let her know as soon as she's ready to endorse, whereupon it flips back to Cooper, who says as drily and sarcastically as you could imagine from a TV anchor "yeah, we'll be waiting for that." It was priceless.

What an embarassment she is.

Oh, and she looks even more ridiculous in her new hairdo.

In Defense of Mitt -- Part 1

Just kidding. I wouldn't defend Mitt if my life depended on it. What an elitist creep!

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Brewer...

Posted by Michael Bryan

This is Mrs. Jan Brewer, Governor of Arizona:

This is how Mrs. Brewer would like you to see her this Christmas season:

To thousands of Arizonans, however, faced with family devastation after Brewer's cuts to their Medicaid and their children's schools, and facing bankruptcy with a home mortgage underwater in a terrible economy made worse by the mad austerity of Republican orthodoxy, this is what she actually looks like:

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Brewer.

Let's Get Behind Murray Hill, Inc. for Congress!

Posted by Michael Bryan

Inspired by the Citizen's United ruling, Murray Hill, Inc. is making it official and tossing its hat in the ring for a seat in Congress. The natural evolution of the oligopolistic American system of representative democracy is beginning now: get your share of democracy at the IPO!

While clearly this is a stunt to bring awareness to how captured by corporate interests our system of representative democracy has become, it can and should precipitate a discussion across the political spectrum of just what sort of government we can expect with the current institutions and rules.

The idea that democracy represents the interests of the people of this country is largely discredited among Americans. They question we need to ask ourselves is the one that we have been asking for the past several electoral cycles: how do we take our country back? Unfortunately, we have been seeking to take it back from the "other party", not realizing that the both parties are now largely the creatures of corporate interests.

It may be true that the Democratic Party at least pretends (and some valiant voices earnestly try) to seek the interests of the American people, whereas the Republicans seem to have discarded all pretense. But it is undeniable that neither party can any longer focus the political will of common Americans to provide those things we desperately need: healthcare for all, a fair and equitable economy, a real check on the casino economy that the banking and finance sector has become, investments in America's future economic competitiveness, and reasonable and prudent action on the environmental degradation of the Earth that could make life untenable for future generations.

There is a reason for these failures. Our representative democratic system has been fully captured by corporate interests whose incumbent financial interests require that America keep its head firmly in the sand on all these vital subjects.

Pearce: Opens his Mouth, Racism Falls Out

You can't make this up. Pearce hanging with his anti-immigrant hommies in DC, lets his hair down and tells an "amusing" zinger about our President. Arizona's shadow-Führer is disgusting.

Happy Halloween from BlogForArizona!

Posted by Michael Bryan

Thanks for sending this to me, Allan!

KVOA getting ready for next week's elections...

by Craig McDermott, crossposted from Random Musings

Just a little levity...

They've put up some "test" returns for Arizona House races on their website, and didn't pull down the test before I noticed it.

Heh heh heh heh, time for a little fun (and it is just fun - they've got Ds winning in districts that are R locks, and Rs winning in D districts.  In other words, these are just numbers serving as space fillers, not reality or even predictions of reality)...

Highlights -

District 4
103 of 103 precincts - 100 percent
x-Judy Burges, GOP (i) 36,972 - 45 percent
x-Karina Guerrero, Dem 32,864 - 40 percent
Jack Harper, GOP 12,324 - 15 percent
2 to be elected.

No more Jack Harper?  Fingers (and toes) crossed for the future of LD4 and the state...

District 11
83 of 83 precincts - 100 percent
x-Eric Meyer, Dem (i) 23,522 - 45 percent
x-Eric West, GOP 20,908 - 40 percent
Kate Brophy McGee, GOP 7,840 - 15 percent

If there is any justice in the world, this one, with Eric Meyer winning, will become reality in a week.  It would annoy the hell out of some industry groups, too, as they've dropped a lot of cash on McGee.

District 17
69 of 69 precincts - 100 percent
x-Ed Ableser, Dem (i) 17,611 - 43 percent
x-Ben Arredondo, Dem 16,201 - 40 percent
Donald Hawker, GOP 1,823 - 5 percent
Cristian Dumitrescu, Lib 1,709 - 4 percent
Damian Trabel, Lib 1,603 - 4 percent
Gregor Knauer, Grn 1,555 - 4 percent

This is my home district, and this result would definitely work for me...

District 19
65 of 65 precincts - 100 percent
x-Kirk Adams, GOP (i) 24,674 - 45 percent
x-Kit Filbey, Dem 21,933 - 40 percent
Justin Olson, GOP 8,224 - 15 percent
2 to be elected.

Won't happen, but this would be nice.  It would be nicer still if Adams was the R who came in third.

District 20
59 of 59 precincts - 100 percent
x-Rae Waters, Dem (i) 22,657 - 45 percent
x-Bob Robson, GOP 20,138 - 40 percent
Jeff Dial, GOP 7,552 - 15 percent
2 to be elected.

As with Meyer above, in a truly just world Waters would win this one in a walk.

 

Governor Brewer Isn't Just a Joke, She's the Punchline

Bill Maher made a joke about Governor Brewer and the Chilean mining saga on his show Real Time. The extraordinary thing is not that she became the butt of a joke, but that audience laughed when Bill merely said the words "the Governor of Arizona."

Watch the video. He doesn't even get to the punchline before people crack up; Brewer has made the office of Arizona Governor a punchline.

Brilliant! When Daffy Met Beck.

This is why copyright law is important. Those who want to destroy the freedom of our culture to borrow and remix would prevent brilliant critiques like the following:

WTF Were They Thinking?

Posted by Michael Bryan

Did a Martian create this ad (which can be seen on 1st Avenue just north of Grant Road)? How could they not realize that the next words to pass through any American's mind would be "of boobs"? Not that I disagree, mind you, but I would think KNST would be promoting these, er, boobs, not denigrating them... that's my job.

Someone in the Lege wanna sponsor this?

Posted by Michael Bryan

 

Ben Quayle Gets Dirty

By Michael Bryan

Let's give the new web ad by Arizona Congressional candidate Ben Quayle The Dirty treatment, shall we? Feel free to crack wise in the comments.

This is Ben Quayle. His claim to fame is being even prettier and even less intelligent than Daddy. Not an easy legacy to fulfill.

What is with the mint green tie? What kind of Republican wears a green tie? Too soothing, too ecological. Red and blue are the only proper neckwear colors for a real Republican - preferably together. But maybe he's sending a coded message to his fellow freedom fighters in Iran? Or he just read The Secret and he's attracting donations with his money tie? Who knows? I just know that a green tie is just down-right un-Republican. Here's a selection of suitably Republican ties, Ben.

 

And Ben, I gotta tell you, your shoulders are maybe 16 inches across and your neck looks to be about 15 inches. You gotta stop shopping in Daddy's closet; his shirts are just too big for you. 

Fortunately, you can't see below the waist in this video. Here's a still of what Ben is wearing below the waist during the shoot:

The first "scene" features Ben's mug in close up while he intones with dramatic pauses so that you know he's serious and not, you know, pullin' your leg, "Barack Obama is the worst President in history." The tight frame is so we can see that, yes, Ben is wearing video makeup and he's not naturally that shade of orange. Don't be alarmed for young Ben's kidney function. He's fine. This is just early-stage politician coloration. If he's elected, then he'll get his permanent video coloration.

Wow, that guy's more orange than his tie... Welcome to your future, Ben. 

Next Ben frets about "my generation" inheriting Barack's legacy. That could be confusing until you realize that at 33 Ben still considers himself a "youth" voter. Ben, I'm afraid to inform you, you aren't a college kid anymore. You need to stop binge drinking and negging the chicks.

Did you know that Obama is responsible for the existence of drug cartels in Mexico? Neither did I. Thanks, Ben, for your incredible insight! And did you know there are "tax cartels" in D.C.? Shit. I gotta get my gat. You mean that there is a criminal organization which is pedaling illegal tax cuts to the super-wealthy? It's called the GeeOhPee. You down wit' GeeOhPee, Ben? Ben, you aren't telling tales out of school on your own party now, are you?

But Ben's not done. Hell, he's only halfway through with this joint, bitch. He loves Arizona, man! He was raised right, man! By a prescription drug addict mother and a running joke of a father! Struggling daily with the soft bigotry of low expectations and the narcotic effects of silver suppositories. That's how he rolls. Word.

Now Ben's standing up to break his foot off in Barack's ass. Watch out, Ben is going - right now, dammit - to Washington to knock the hell out of the place! Run, Barack, run! Ben's got his ass insertion face on! 

As if the self-parody weren't good enough, some dude thinks he's funnier than Ben. Not fuckin' likely. Bring it!

Nah, Ben's funnier.

We Win!

Yay?

McCain Gets a New Slogan

By Michael Bryan

Not happy with the verisimilitude of McCain's chosen quasi-slogan, "Build the Dang Fence!" (or some such nativist bullshit...), some enterprising person with a stencil and some spray paint donated one to McCain's campaign.

I certainly don't condone defacing campaign signs, but you have to admit that "Drill Baby Drill" hits very near the mark. 

Use of this in-your-face taunt from the 2008 campaign would really sum up the GOP's shameless embrace of commercial values over all others, denialism over the environmental impact and unsustainable nature of our current energy economy, and sheer cussed political tone-deafness. It would make a perfect dog whistle rallying cry to the increasingly unhinged GOP base and help McCain prevail over J.D. "Nation's Stupidest Representative™" Hayworth.

I had to look twice and pull over to take a photo before I realized that this was actually a prank. For a fleeting and disorienting moment I actually believed that McCain had embraced self-parody and actually put this slogan on his signs. With the muck now washing up on the shores of the Gulf and public support for off-shore oil drilling plummeting, McCain would really prove that he is indeed a maverick if he would embrace this generously donated slogan.

Think about it, McCainiacs: you could do worse...

The AZ lege explained in a comic strip

From Full Frontal Nerdity (thanks for the heads-up from friend who emailed it to me) -

The strip is almost a year and a half old, but it easily could be drawn today, with the Arizona Legislature as its inspiration.

The Palin Pick

McCain's choice of Vice President, while not unexpected (everyone knew she was being vetted) was a real surprise to many. I assumed that she was a pro forma nod to the extreme right and female values voters, not a real possibility. I was floored by the announcement.

Others will ably pick apart the many reasons why Sarah Palin is a terrible choice: she negates McCain's experience argument against Obama, she is a lightweight in the truest sense, her social conservative positions are way out of whack with mainstream America, she brings McCain's age and health back to the center of the debate, and her choice looks purely like political opportunism and pandering born of desperation by a still-born campaign.

But I thought that McCain really must know something we don't. He's a wiley and smart political infighter who has survived and thrived in the cut-throat competition of Washington for decades; he's got to know that this choice is going to be widely panned, and his judgment called into question over it. He must have a very compelling reason to choose Palin.

My sources inside the McCain inner circle have finally come through with some seriously scoopy information. I know now why McCain chose Palin and he did so for vital and compelling national security reasons of impeccable logic and wisdom.

McCain knows that the fate of every American hangs in the balance. He knows that only one person can save us. He's received intelligence that absolutely compels his selection of Palin as VP so that she might be kept close and under his protection.

I'll reveal why after the flip...

Excellence in Analogizing

Clinton Skewered on SNL

This is brilliant political humor. Just enough truth to sting.